Monday, June 30, 2014

Random Thoughts about Bean #2

When they say each pregnancy is different, they were not kidding. This second pregnancy has been a whirlwind of activity starting from the day I finished my last pack of birth control pills two months before our wedding. And then I read this blog post today by Susan Sarandon's daughter who is expecting a baby girl in August and felt ok. I realized after reading that post that I need to cut myself some slack. I have been way too hard on myself about feeling great and looking great that I'm not allowing myself to enjoy every single moment.

My son's pregnancy was textbook. It was all rainbows and smiles with virtually no issues at all. I mean, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect pregnancy. I glowed, I gained weight slowly, I still played tennis until I was about 6 months pregnant. Literally, I was a poster child for pregnancy. I felt beautiful despite a spreading nose and swollen lips.

39 weeks and 3 days (2008). All belly!
This current pregnancy has been the total opposite. From the day we found out at 4 weeks, I have been plagued with nausea, vomiting, food aversions and crazy fatigue. I feel so bad for my poor husband because I fall asleep mid-conversation and don't even realize it. And the fatigue! Lord the fatigue! I've had to hire my brother while he's home from college for the summer to watch my son for about 2 hours each day so I can nap and rest when getting home from work. And don't even get me started on the cravings. I send my husband to the store every other day to stockpile fruit because that's all I want to eat. Which may explain why I'm going into my fourth month and have only gained 5 pounds.

Anyway, I say all of this to say, that we still have 5 more months to go and something tells me that this little peanut of mine is going to keep us on our feet. I'm already starting to feel little flutters daily (you tend to feel the baby sooner with second pregnancies) and if he/she is anything like his/her big brother, we better get ready.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Strange Dreams

One thing about being pregnant are the strange dreams you tend to have. For example, last night I had the CRAZIEST dream about Dwele. If you know anything about me and Dwele, you know that he is pretty much one of my favorite musicians and I am obsessed with him.


via Google Images


Seriously, how could you not love this beautiful man? Anyway, I dreamt that I going on tour with him to a show in Milwaukee and that some random man was going with us but apparently he was also dating my now-single mom (keep in mind in real-life my parents have been married 33 years). As I'm trying to spend some time with Dwele and give him pointers on which flight we should take up, mom's boyfriend decides to jump in the conversation and get all snippy. I can't remember what he said but I remember that my retort to him was that he was insulting my intelligence and I didn't give a damn who he was but he was not going to talk to me like that.

Dwele pretty much sat there dumbfounded and told the guy he was out of line. I told Dwele not to worry about it that I would take care of this so marched out of the room, straight to my mom and told her to get rid of his man. She, for whatever reason, told me I was being silly and that I needed to listen to ol' dude's advice since he's Milwaukee. I told her I didn't care who he was but he was not going to insult me like that and I'm a grown woman.

Needless to say mom and I went back and forth and finally she told him that it was over and he had to go. Dwele and I ended up taking a walk and talking about the situation. He said he was surprised by my show but totally understood. We ended up staying up all night and spending time together.

It was so weird to have that dream and then I wake up and look at my husband LOL Wait until I tell him about this LOL

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

14 week pregnant

How I'm feeling:
Tired and achy

What I'm craving:
Fruit, fruit and more fruit - particularly pineapples

How I'm sleeping:
Rough. I just can't get comfortable.

Thoughts:
It's been a few weeks since I blogged and that's because this baby has been wearing me out, not to mention work has been wearing me out. We had a little scare the other week where I had some bleeding but all is well. Hubby and I have decided both a boy and girl name, actually we had these picked out a long time ago, so once we know what we're having we plan to starting calling him or her by their name. We are definitely planning to keep the name and sex a secret from family until my baby shower in October. With our son, we didn't reveal his name until the baby shower. What is it about baby names that makes people so opinionated? Everyone has the BEST name and thinks you should name your kid after them. No sir, hence the reason we told everyone we don't need your input on anything. I will say this, there were some mad folks because I wouldn't tell them my son's name. Hahaha! I don't care.

Anyway, I'm struggling with clothing. Now that I'm progressing through this pregnancy and definitely showing, I have had to start shopping for maternity clothes. I refuse to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes so I've been buying plus-sized clothing instead. Besides, I need pieces that I can wear in the summer and transition into the fall with leggings and a cardigan. I won't be taking the baby out of the house much in the winter so I'm too worried about dressing him or her in anything besides onesies with the feet.

Geez, I'm really having another baby. This is mind-blowing!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

10 weeks

How I'm feeling:
Nauseous, tired and bloated.

What I'm craving:
WATERMELON!!!

How I'm sleeping:
As soon as my eyes close, I'm out!

Thoughts:
Hubs and I are heading out of town on our Babymoon. It was supposed to be a honeymoon and then we found out we were expecting and it became a babymoon. I'm pretty excited about it and can't wait to get away and spend some alone time together. I'm going to miss our little guy while we're gone but he will be having a blast with his grandparents.

I feel pretty good with the exception of feeling like I have absolutely no clothes that I fit. I had to breakdown and buy a bella band the other day because my tummy is poking out something serious. I mean, I'm 3 months, how do I look almost 5 months pregnant? SMH I hate having this extra weight but whatever. I go back to the doctor next week to do another check-in on the little bean in there.

9 weeks

I am at the end of my 9th week and feeling fine. I went in for my first appointment this week and boy do I have a story to tell about that!

How I'm feeling:
Nauseous, tired and bloated.

What I'm craving:
Spicy foods (particularly Indian) and fruit of any kind

How I'm sleeping:
As soon as my eyes close, I'm out!

Thoughts:
I had my first appointment this week and boy what an appointment it was. I was pretty anxious and antsy the entire day because I was so ready to see this little bean and just know that everything ok. Hubby found out that someone at work had leave early so he was stuck there and couldn't be with me. He was pretty pissed about it but I told that was ok. I'm not going to lie and say that my feelings weren't hurt because they were but I know he felt horrible as is so I didn't want to add to it.

Anyway, my midwife (the same one I had with my son) and I met to do my examination. She started out with the ultrasound before we got into the other stuff. While doing a vaginal ultrasound, she grew quiet and said that she couldn't find the baby or the sac. Of course my heart dropped by I remained optimistic. She tried abdominally with no luck that way either. So here I am on the exam table and this woman is telling me that we don't know what's going on but she wants to run more tests.

Long story short, I was sent to radiology and they did a formal ultrasound where the technician remained quiet the ENTIRE time no matter how much I kept trying to engage her. After 20 minutes of moving this wand around in me, she showed me this:



So yes, everything is ok and the baby is doing well. It has a very strong heartbeat and I couldn't be happier. I was so emotionally tore up during the wait and the exam; I couldn't even call my husband and tell him what was going on because I knew he would freak out. Needless to say our little bean is doing great and is scheduled to make an appearance on December 25th! Look at God!

My Fertility Journey

*sigh* Where do I begin with this?

5 years ago, the Lord blessed me and my husband (then boyfriend) with a bouncing baby boy. Long before he was born, there were people around me who had visions of his happy, giggly baby boy and he finally showed up. You would think after having one baby 5 years ago with no complications, things would be easy the second time around? Eh, not so much.

In April 2013, several months before our wedding, my husband and I decided to start working on expanding our family. I had spent the prior months working on my health and mentally preparing myself for motherhood again. We were both excited and eager for more kids immediately. Once I finished my last pack of birth control pills, it was on! I remember talking into the late nights about how awesome it would be to pregnant on our wedding day and sharing the news. Fast forward 3 months later, 6 months later, 9 months and every single test still showing a big fat negative.

There is nothing more discouraging and unsettling than giving something your all and feeling like it was for nothing. 9 months of trying and nothing. There was even a point where my period was 100 days late and I wasn't pregnant. After all of this, I decided it was time to see a doctor. Test after test revealed that everything was ok, except for one test. I can't recall what it was but it led my then-doctor to believe that I may be suffering from PCOS. My friend, Mr. Google, and I spent countless hours researching and talking to friends with this condition. Their stories of more than 7 years of trying to conceive were not encouraging at all to me. I truly hit a low point and wasn't sure if it was meant to be.

I hated tracked everything from when I slept to when we made love. When talks of semen analysis and surgery for me came up, I decided I had enough. I threw it all away. My husband and I sat down and said that we were done with all of this and that we would just let things go as they may. If that meant not having a baby for another year or two then so be it.

I found another doctor for second opinion, a specialist this time, who confirmed that the prior diagnosis was wrong and that I did not have PCOS. Instead, I was suffering from "trying too hard". One year to the day that we started trying, I discovered that I was pregnant and about 4 weeks along. I could not believe it!It was so surreal. I took test after test and each was positive.


And here we are today, I'm going into my 8th week and can't wait to share the news with everyone. This baby has been the baby we prayed for. During this journey, I reached out to Adrienne to let her know what was going on. I needed someone to talk to who could remind me that things don't happen in my time but in HIS time. She immediately sent me back scriptures which I recited every single and believed. I knew that when it was time, we would be blessed with the child we prayed for: I Samuel 1:27

6 weeks

I am officially 6 weeks pregnant. We still haven't told anyone yet and its killing me to keep this a secret for another 6 weeks. I'm ready to share our big news.

How I'm feeling:
Nauseous, tired, and suffering from allergies

What I'm craving:
Nothing in particular besides salad

How I'm sleeping:
Ok; same is usual

Thoughts:
Right now the baby's heart is beating and my firsst appointment is scheduled at 10 weeks. I am SO excited to see and meet this bean. Of course we are anxious because we don't know if we're having one or two at this point. I won't really go into the details of our TTC journey, but I will say that the likelihood of multiples is high due to the medicine I was on. Either way, I'm exicted and happy. Baby Boy is so excited too. He keeps rubbing my telling and asking if his brother or sister is ok.
*awwww* I can't wait for them to meet and grow up together.

Other than that, I'm feeling fine and just taking care of myself as I should.

Easter Surprise

I've been holding this for a long time and can finally share the news! The Easter Bunny arrived on my birthday and left behind a little egg....



I'm pregnant! I've been waiting to finally say it until I was out of the first trimester but yes, I am pregnant with my second child. My husband, son and I are over the moon. How cool is it that we are pregnant on our first anniversary? Anyway, stay tuned for many pregnancy posts and updates during this journey. I am due in December so we are having a Christmas baby!

Monday, June 2, 2014

One Year Anniversary

It's our one year anniversary! I can't believe it's been a year since I experienced the second most wonderful day of my life (my first was the day my son was born). I have pictures to share but let me tell you what we did first.

Hubby and I are avid music lovers, particularly live music. Initially we had plans for a tropical romantic getaway for our anniversary but we are such non-traditionalists in some aspects that we said screw it and flew up to Philadelphia for The Roots music festival. OMG Amazing! Janelle Monae! Snoop Dogg! Dougie Fresh! Biz Markie! The Roots! It was literally all the people we love as musicians backed by the world's last real band. We had a blast.  For 3 days we barhopped, partied and ate our way through Philly. The city was so amazing that we want to go back and take the little guy with us.

Our actual anniversary was a little bit more mellow. We lounged, we went to the movies, we ate, we shopped and just spent time together. We aren't big showy people so we preferred to do the low-key thing and spend the day with each other. I actually wasn't feeling too well that (all the Philly fun wore me out) so dinner was picked up and enjoyed at home. Before bed we cut the top tier of our cake, said I love you and ate away.

A whole year later...wow. It has been amazing, trying, eye-opening year but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love that man like no other and know that he feels the same way about me. We haven't exchanged gifts yet (we'll do that this weekend) but I did give him an early anniversary gift so I'll give him the actual next week. Anyway, happy anniversary to us!

To my love,
One year later and I still like you, despite the fact that I break up with you once a week because you leave the sink full of dishes. But I never have to ask you for anything, you make me laugh, you rub my feet when you know I need it, you pick up my favorite things without me asking and you love to cuddle just because. You don't even mind me playing with your ears in my sleep. I couldn't have asked for a better friend, husband and love. Who would have known that day I saw you sitting at lunch by yourself and introduced myself that I would be your wife? I knew! haha! Love you!