Repost: You Just Had a Baby

Every now and then there is an article that speaks to me in ways I never saw possible. This article is one them. As the mother of a 9 week old, I oftentimes have to remind myself that I don't need to put on my invisible cape, or open my shirt to display the "S" on my chest proudly. It's ok for me to not have it all together all of the time. Huffington Post validates just that for me.

To myself, and anyone else who needs to read this:

You just had a baby.

I know your jeans don't fit. It sucks. I know you tried on 17 pairs at Nordstrom Rack last week and almost cried in the dressing room. I know you went to Gap after that and tried on 14 other pairs and almost cried in that dressing room. I know the only thing you bought that day was a pair of sweatpants and a loose white T-shirt. It's OK.

You just had a baby.

I know your to-do list is never finished. I know you're worried about things like savings accounts and college funds and life insurance and making a will. You don't need to do any of those things today. You'll do them soon enough.

You just had a baby.

I know you're trying to balance your dream job (which pays nothing, yet), and your regular job (which pays a little), and trying to figure out how to pay for daycare and how to find a daycare and how to not feel guilty about using a daycare. I know more than anything right now, you want help with your super active toddler who needs to run, run, run while you need to sit, sit, sit and breastfeed, again. It's OK.

You just had a baby.

I know you're trying to figure out how to cook meals that are not scrambled eggs and how to stop running out of milk at the end of the week and how to get your toddler to poop in the potty. I know you secretly just want 100 hours of babysitting so you can make a baby book and create a meal plan and go to Costco and organize your closet and shave your legs and write overdue thank-you cards and clean off your desktop and cut your fingernails and vacuum every room and maybe, just maybe, watch a movie? With popcorn? And Milk Duds? It's OK to wish for those things.

You just had a baby.

I know everyone is making 25 resolutions and setting goals and choosing one word for the year. I know you're eating peanut butter cups in the bathroom and making resolutions you don't even think you'll keep and trying to think of one word that isn't SURVIVE, but it's the one word you keep coming back to because damn, this two-kid thing is hard.

I know you're exhausted. And frustrated. And overwhelmed. And sleep-deprived. And thankful. And grateful. And happy. And tired.

You just had a baby.

I know everything feels undone. I know being a grown-up sucks. I know your house is a mess. I know you have writer's block. I know you feel behind. I know you wish you were superwoman. I know. I know.

But.

You just had a baby.

So, let's stop pretending like that didn't just happen.

And let's give you some grace and permission.

You don't have to answer every email, every text or every invitation that comes your way. You don't have to keep your house clean or make fancy dinners this week or plan your family vacation for the year. You don't have to take your toddler to the dentist or figure out how to save for college right now.

Let it be.

Eat a bagel. Heck, eat two bagels. Let your baby nap on your chest. Pretend to be a dinosaur with your toddler. Go to Target by yourself and look at all the things. WatchParenthood and cry a little. Go to brunch with your friends. Rest.

You're fine.

And when you go to bed tonight thinking of the 63 items left on your to-do list, feeling unaccomplished and disappointed in yourself, I want you to repeat after me.

I. Just. Had. A. Baby.

A baby!

Relax. You're doing great.

Repeat C-Section

With my first son, I labored a long time. Try 32 hours of laboring, 12 hours without an epidural. Yes, I'll wait while you pick up your jaw....

**checks my watch**

He was a term baby (translation: born at 39 weeks and 4 days), but the labor was anything but what I planned. I had this long detailed birth plan that I laminated (I'm an organizing junkie) with detailed instructions for everyone attending. Oh yes, I was serious about that delivery. Needless to say, my labor went nothing like it was planned and I had to quickly accept that I can't control everything.

With Baby #2, I threw the whole birth plan thing out of the window and decided to just roll with it. No plan, no expectations; just letting my body do what it does.

My gestational diabetes diagnosed confirmed that I was unlikely to make it to my due date and I was ok with that, as long as I was over 37 weeks. Welp, you guessed it: he came at 33 weeks. I'll provide my details about my labor and delivery but I had to admit I felt a little disappointed when the doctor explained that a vaginal delivery was unlikely due to my complications at that time.

My c-section went well and according to my OB/GYN, they may let me try a vaginal with #3. My recovery this time seemed shorter but my pain level was definitely up. With a week in the hospital before and after my delivery, the pain was awful but manageable with minimal meds. When I got home, I felt like myself  after about a week. I still had to walk slow and not laugh or cough but I made it through. I can sum it up to say that by week 3, I was moving like a normal person again.

With any delivery, there are risks for all sorts of complications and the recovery periods varied. What's most important is that you listen to your body and take the time to heal.

Body After Baby

IMAGE

I am 6 weeks post delivery and I am ready to get back in the workout saddle. Just before I found out I was pregnant, I signed up for Weight Watchers. I was fully committed to losing 30 pounds and making fitness my focus before pregnancy. Well, I found Baby #2 was on the way and that pretty much put dieting on hold.

I gained about 17 total pounds with my pregnancy and lost most of it after delivery. Y'all, I was literally all baby. The weight fell off with the exception of 5 pounds. So couple my prior *ahem* few pounds that I never lost from my first pregnancy and tack on 5 pounds...yeah. See how the numbers add up?

Well, not anymore. I am ready to lose 30 pounds and keep it moving. Seriously. I really want to get back into running but with a repeat c-section, getting back into the workout routine is going to take some time. Last night I completed my first workout and it left me a little breathless and achy but I felt encouraged. I realize that I carried a baby for a 8 months and that I need to give myself that long to lose the weight.

I'm not going to put myself on some crazy strict diet where all I can eat is lettuce and drink water. Instead, I am going to focus on portion control, being active as much as possible (hard to do with breastfeeding and a newborn) and cutting myself some slack. Since we are planning for baby #3 in a year, I want to make sure I am physically fit.

Wish me luck and stay tuned for my progress.